The Conduit,
Part I By Tim Kennard
Suddenly, the images came into sharp focus; almost painfully Meko squinted beneath his eyelids. It was an outdoor scene, outside the village in a clearing near the lake where his grandfather had often taken him on nature walks. "You cannot begin to know who you are until you understand the nature of all things around you," he often said. Meko never really understood what he meant by that but he accepted it as wisdom from his elder. As he watched, his grandfather appeared from within a copse of trees, striding forward with a youth and purpose he had not seen in quite some time. Although Meko was not yet thirteen, he had observed for several years that his grandfather was not able to get around as spryly as he once did. That is to be expected from a man of such advanced years, but in Meko's vision grandfather seemed to be much younger. In fact, his hair was not even gray yet. Meko's earliest memories of grandfather were as a grayhaired man with a slight limp and easy manner. The man he saw showed none of those traits yet he knew in his heart that this was his grandfather.
Meko tried to call out to him but no sound escaped his mouth. He could hear only the voice of nature in the plants and animals that surrounded him. Grandfather reached the middle of the clearing and knelt down upon his ceremonial blanket, one that was normally used in seeking the guidance of the great spirit of Elethay for a gentle season. But there was no prayer or words, only grandfather kneeling with arms outstretched as if awaiting something. It was then that Meko realized that the humming heÃd heard before was growing louder. But as it intensified, it changed. It was no longer a humming but more guttural and coarse, almost a growling. Momentarily distracted by it, Meko lost focus on the scene. As he tuned it back in, he was frozen in his tracks. A giant black grizzly bear was bearing down on his grandfather from behind, its huge dripping fangs bared, charging to its prey.
A blood-curdling scream ripped through Meko's ears and shattered his vision. Almost immediately he felt the hard floor beneath him and though he had not yet opened his eyes, he knew he was back in the common room, sweat pouring down his face. As the din subsided, Meko realized that his mouth was wide open and his throat hurt. He was the screamer. He took a gulping breath as his eyes slowly opened. The sight before him nearly stopped his heart. Grandfather was kneeling on his prayer blanket in front of the fireplace, enveloped in what appeared to be the spirit-form of a huge bear, one much the same as the one from his dream. But this bear spirit was not threatening nor did it seem angered. Meko would swear later that he saw a grin on the bear's face but not just now. He rubbed his eyes and pinched himself, trying to waken from what surely was still his dreamvision. But, grandfather's eyes opened just then and he smiled at Meko. "I see you two have met," he said with a broad smile across his cracked face. "Do not fear him, Meko. He is my friend and it is time for you to know him as well." "This is Brawn, the great bear spirit. We have known each other for many years and he protects me as one of his own," Grandfather continued. As Meko sat there transfixed by the sight of the shimmering bear encompassing grandfather as he talked, a flood of questions entered his already well-confused mind. How was this possible? Where did it come from? Why can I see it? Is this real?
Just then the back door slammed and Meko heard the familiar voice of his mother. Meko scrambled to his feet and ran into the kitchen. "Mother, come quickly! You must see this." He dragged his mother by the hand into the common room only to find grandfather again asleep in his chair and no sign of Brawn. "Okay, Meko. Now what is so urgent about papa sleeping by the fire?"
"But it was here just a second ago; I saw it. A giant grizzly bear!" blurted Meko, almost not believing it even as he spoke it. His mother patted him on the head, gave him that telltale look of disbelief, and returned to the kitchen. Meko stood there for several moments trying to convince himself that it was real, that what he'd seen and heard was not just a dream, but soon he gave up. Dejectedly, he walked toward his bedroom, still seeing the images and hearing the sounds. He was so confused and upset. He closed his bedroom door and lay down, trying to clear his mind. Soon he was fast asleep.
Tossing and turning throughout the night, he couldn't keep the startling vision from his mind. But, amidst with the chaos, the previous day intruded. Flashes of images rewound time.
It all had started so benignly. Meko had worked feverishly to complete his chores early; he knew that Grandfather could make time for him today. Meko's relished the time spent with his grandfather, a man of much wisdom and many, many stories. Though busy, Meko's existence was still a bit humdrum. The most excitement there was for him came through sharing his grandfather's enthralling stories. As soon as he had finished stacking the firewood, his last chore of the day, he raced inside the house.
He flew through the back door into the kitchen, nearly tripping over the chairs as he sped around the table to the common room where he knew he'd find grandfather sitting, waiting for him. Disappointment weighed heavily as he entered the doorway only to find Grandfather slumped in his rocker, seemingly fast asleep by the warm fireplace. Although he desperately wanted his time with grandfather to begin, he knew he needed his rest. He tried to leave quietly so as not to awaken him.
As Meko turned and tip-toed toward the door, he felt another presence in the room. He pivoted around trying to locate the source of his uneasiness and saw nothing; at least, not at first. His initial fear subsiding, he noticed a low, almost inaudible, humming noise that permeated the air, wafting to his ears as if on purpose. Concentrating on the sounds, he slowly became aware that they were coming from Grandfather.
As he stood there motionless, his mind started to make sense of the sounds. It seemed there was a pattern to them; quietly he sat down near the door and closed his eyes to intensify the experience. As he did so, images began to form as well. At first they were dark and non-distinct, nothing more than blurs and flashes of dim blue light. But, the longer he sat and relaxed, the clearer things became.
As abruptly as it began, the day was swallowed by the vision. This time the images were stark and surreal, twisted by his overactive subconscious. Startled awake, chest heaving, beads of sweat bursting from his brow, Meko sprang up in bed. Meko's eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness of the room and darted side to side searching for reason. A few tense moments later he realized he had been dreaming and grabbed at this pounding heart to stop it from bursting from his chest. For several minutes he took deep breaths in and out to speed his recovery. Finally, he was calm enough to lay back. He stared at the ceiling contemplating the events of the day and night. Somewhere in the process he again succumbed to sleep.
Meko awoke to the wonderful smells of breakfast. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he stirred uncomfortably from his bed having slept in his clothes all night. He felt at ease even though thoughts from the night before still lingered. He had no memory of any dreams during his long slumber. That was unusual in itself. Meko always dreamed and remembered much of them the next day. Perhaps it was that he was so shaken by the previous night's events that there was no room in his subconscious for the playfulness of dreams.
He knew his mother would be furious if she knew he'd slept in his clothes so he changed quickly and went outside to wash at the well. It was a beautiful spring morning filled with the sounds of birds singing and the bustle of the village coming to life. When he'd finished washing, he went back inside the house for his morning meal. His mother had just finished setting the table as he entered the kitchen. She kissed him on the forehead and mussed his hair as she greeted him at the door. "Good Morning, Birthday Boy," she whispered into his ear as he kissed her on the cheek. She knew how he hated to be fussed over especially on his special day. "It is my birthday, isn't it?" Meko queried to himself, dumbfounded that he had forgotten it. All that excitement last night must have distracted him more than he realized. Perhaps it all was just a dream.
Reality was Treblehorn; a small trade village nestled at the base of Trembling Mountain, the easternmost peak in the Riverroot Chain. Meko had lived all of his nearly thirteen years inside this haven, rarely venturing outside its safety. His mother, father, two older sisters, and his maternal grandfather raised animals of all kinds at the village outskirts. Each day was much the same as the last with little excitement or change. Life was easy and good, and though they were not wealthy, they did not want for the necessities.
His sisters Hanni and Jamai came in from their morning chores in the barn just as his father and grandfather called to the house as they approached. They must have risen very early to have been in to the village and back already this morning. Everyone took their places around the table and fueled themselves for the day ahead. The conversation was the norm for breakfast; the girls talking about boys and mother and father discussing the day's schedule. Only grandfather was silent, making quick work of his meal, sporting quite an appetite for a change. Each time grandfather's eyes would come his way, Meko would avert his, trying not to make contact. He still wasn't sure about what had happened last night and he didn't want to be caught staring or something equally silly like that.
He thought it best to finish quickly and get on to his work; that's the best way to put things back in perspective. Besides, he was thirteen today and a young man now in his own right. Now he would be given more responsibility and begin the long road to his right of passage as an adult. He said a brief goodbye to the family, again not meeting his grandfather's gaze, and hurried out the door to his chores.
He was glad to get away from everyone and with his animals. They always were a comfort to him. They were his friends when no one else would be, never questioning him or his ideas, just giving back the attention he so freely gave them. Grandfather had taught him many things about caring for animals and showing them the respect they deserved. "All things have a purpose even if we don't know it yet." That was one of grandfather's nuggets of wisdom. Anyway, he settled into his work and before he knew it the midday sun was approaching its zenith. Where had the morning gone?
As Meko laid back under his favorite tree for a shady rest break, his thoughts again turned to his dreamvision. The clearing near the lake was not far so he decided he would take a walk there and grab a quick refreshing dip in the cool lake water before he went back to the house for his noon meal. As he crested the ridge and cleared the brush, he could see the sunlight glistening playfully on the wave tops. The gentle breeze urged the waves in a never-ending trek to the shore. He disrobed as he ran down to the water's edge, leaving his clothes in a lumpy pile on the shore. Splash! He was in like a shot.
The water felt so good at this time of day; just warm enough to take the chill off but not so warm that it felt like a bath. He loved to float on his back and gaze into the sky at the clouds, counting how many different shapes he could make out among them. After about ten minutes he knew it was time to get back. He didn't want to be discovered away from his chores even though he knew he was allowed time to eat and rest. He turned toward shore and swam back but was startled to find he was not alone.
There on the shore sitting on a well-worn seat rock was grandfather. "Avoiding me today, are we?" Grandfather's tone was playful yet still a bit firm. "We need to talk." Meko's stomach was doing somersaults as he pulled himself out of the water and began to dress. He wasn't sure what to say to his grandfather. Was he here to reprimand him for being away from his work? Was he upset that Meko had avoided him at breakfast? Just as Meko's mouth opened to sputter something out, Grandfather beat him to it. "Oh, by the way, Brawn says Hello!" Meko fainted dead the spot!
He felt something cool and soothing on his forehead and as he opened his eyes he could see grandfather tending to him. "I didn't mean to scare you. Are you alright, Meko?"
Am I alright? Now that was a question Meko wanted an answer to as well. "I feel very strange, grandfather." Meko's voice was weak and he looked pale. "You'll be stronger soon. You've had a rough night and morning. Let me see if I can explain. I know you saw the bear spirit last night as I was communing with him. You were not dreaming. Now that you are beginning your journey to manhood, it is time you knew more about me and about yourself."
Grandfather's words were comforting and made sense. A spirit of calm washed over Meko and he listened intently to the strangest tale he'd ever heard from his elder.
"I am a Spirit Guide, a special kind of shaman. The spirits of men are not what I seek. I have told you many times that understanding nature and all its wonders is the most important of all things. For me that is the truth above all truths. I communicate with the spirits of all that Elethay has provided us, especially her animals. It is no coincidence that our family cares for and raises Elethay's children. The bear, the fox, the eagle, the owl all of these and many more are part of Elethay's plan to balance nature and bring us to understand her way for us."
"Last night you saw Brawn, the great bear spirit as he came to me in my sleep. I often speak to him and he lends me his power when I need it. He told me he frightened you and for this he is very sorry."
Meko could not believe his own ears. Was he dreaming again? How could this be? "Grandfather, I just don't know about this. It is all so very strange to me. I know what I thought I saw but it couldn't have been . . ." Meko's sentence trailed off to a whisper as he looked at grandfather. The old man's eyes had closed and he stretched out his hands as he began to hum and chant. Meko couldn't make out what he was saying but it was very familiar to him. He'd heard it before in his dreamvision. The breeze freshened from the north and Meko felt a chill run down his spine. Right before his widened eyes, Brawn returned, engulfing grandfather in his misty form.
Meko's jaw had dropped to his chest. He was so stunned he couldn't make a sound. Grandfather's eyes opened. "You see. You were not dreaming." The words rang in his ears but grandfather's lips didn't move. He knew it was grandfather's voice but the words came directly to his mind. "Be calm, Meko. It is Grandfather! Do not be afraid."
As quickly as it began, Grandfather broke concentration and let Brawn go. He took a deep breath and composed himself before he spoke aloud. "Look, Meko. I know you are having trouble believing. It is very much to take in all at once but I assure you that this is real." Grandfather's tone was reassuring and helped to ease Meko's fear and frustration. "Please sit and let me explain." For nearly an hour Meko listened intently as grandfather told the tale of how he came to know and understand the spirits of the earth. One by one, as he described them, they appeared to Meko. There were so many Meko lost count. He had never stopped to think that the animals that he cared for could have so much to offer him. The bear made you stronger; the eagle gave you increased perception; swiftness came with the fox and wisdom from the owl and toughness from the taur.
Grandfather paused to take a breath and let things soak in. As he had hoped, Meko had a question. "But, grandfather, there is still one thing that troubles me. I've never seen any of these spirits before in my life. If they are always with you, why is it that I'm just seeing them now?"
"That's an excellent question, Meko. It is true that the spirits cannot be seen by ordinary people. They are sensitive and need to find a point of trust before they will reveal themselves." Again grandfather smiled as he saw the quizzical look cross Meko's face.
"Then how is it that I can see them, grandfather?"
"Well, because they trust me I convinced them to show themselves to you. You see, Meko, for the animal spirits to have such trust in me, I had to form a spirit bond with them. It is a sacred pact between the two of us. I agree to care for and protect Elethay's lands and creatures and the spirits promise to lend me their abilities in return."
Meko understood. He could see the truth of it and was finally able to accept what he'd seen and heard. One thing still bothered him though. "But last night when you bonded with Brawn, I could see him, grandfather. Did you know I was there? How did he know to trust me?"
"I have known for some time now that I am no longer able to fulfill my part of my bond with the spirits. I can no longer get about as I once could and it weighs heavily on my heart. Someone else must take my place and continue to protect the land Elethay blesses for us. That someone is you, Meko!"
"Is that why I could see the spirits?" Meko felt his pulse begin to race. "Am I a Spirit Guide, too??"
Grandfather chuckled and smiled as he took Meko by the hand. "Yes, my child, but you are just at the beginning of the journey. To truly be one with the animal spirits and become a worthy Spirit Guide, you must know the land and the animals as you know yourself. Gaining their trust is not easy but you have within you all that you need to begin. I will help you. My last duty is to train my replacement. Well, Meko? What do you say? Will you pledge your life to protect the bounty Elethay provides us?"
Meko looked deeply into his grandfather's eyes and searched his own heart for an answer. It all made sense now. He'd always felt a connection to his animal friends. Maybe they knew all along that he was special. "I am ready, grandfather. Teach me!"
The Conduit,
Part II By Tim Kennard
Purpose. It was Meko's new favorite word. All of his life he had only known ordinary and essential, routine and necessary. Do your chores, clean your room, and don't bother your sisters. Never a surprise, nothing new; every day was much the same as the next. Granted, only being fifteen, he did not have a vast background to draw on. Still, he knew the difference. Grandfather had been drilling it into him for the past two years and Meko relished it. To arise each morning knowing that what you do today has meaning and substance is to understand life itself.
Unfortunately, that was Bubo talking; Bubo and Grandfather. Of all the animal spirits he had encountered so far, the Great Owl Spirit was the most like his grandfather; patient and wise. That was the problem. Although Meko was progressing well along the path of the true Spirit Guide, his maturity was beginning to show signs of fatigue. He was still quite impatient.
"Grandfather, when will you teach me to bond with a spirit?" The frustration was evident in Meko's voice.
Grandfather thought for a moment then turned to Meko. "Very well, then. If that's the way you'd like it, I will teach you how to make a spirit bond. But first, please build a fire so that we may warm ourselves and prepare a meal." A broad smile adorned Meko's face as he leapt to his feet, grabbed his tinderbox, and began to gather wood for the fire.
"Oh, I'm sorry my son. You may not use any wood in creating your fire, nor may you use any tools such as the tinderbox. Also, you must take this strip of cloth and tie it around your head and use it as a blindfold." Meko stood there with the cloth in his hand and a puzzled look on his face.
Grandfather continued. "Once you have affixed your blindfold, you must turn around and allow me to bind your hands behind you as well. Then you may continue to build the fire."
Meko laughed nervously. "What?!? You've got to be kidding, Grandfather." He was stunned by the strange requests from his mentor. What manner of lunacy was this? He could not comprehend it. "How do you expect me to build a fire if I cannot see, cannot use my hands, nor the proper fuel or tools? It would be impossible!" A knowing smile peeked out from Grandfather's usually serious visage. "Exactly, my son. And so, too, it would be equally impossible for you to bond with a great spirit without first acquiring the sight, senses, knowledge, and skills that are necessary to a true spirit guide. I know how eager you are and how difficult it is for you to wait. You must trust that everything has a time and a season. So, too, it is with your training. It is only after you arrive at your destination that you can truly understand and appreciate the journey."
Meko felt foolish. He'd done it again. How was it that Grandfather could take any situation and turn it into another lesson? Although still a bit frustrated, Meko acquiesced to his teacher's wisdom. He would just have to wait a little bit longer and put aside his impatience as best he could.
Despite his disappointment with the speed of his training, Meko was happy with his new life. Sure he still had chores to do and responsibilities within his family and community, but his training offered side benefits that made the mundane easier to swallow. For instance, his ability to handle animals was uncanny. Even though he had not yet bonded with a spirit, he could sense the emotions of his animals and thereby know better what they wanted and needed. This knack was starting to draw attention around the village and was becoming a concern to some.
Grandfather had warned him that this was a possibility but he did not explain why, other than to say that there were those who looked down upon the ways of the Spirit Guide, especially the dragonkin.
"Dragonkin, Grandfather? What are they?" Meko was never question poor. "Do you mean . . . shape shifters?" He paused and looked around to make sure they were out of earshot before lowering his voice to ask.
Grandfather showed his amusement with a muffled laugh. "Yes, Meko, the shape shifters are those I speak of but you need not fear them. There is much you should know about them. I believe you are now old enough to fully understand the truth about the world." And with that, the next phase of Meko's training began.
* * * * * * * *
Over the course of the next several weeks Meko's eyes were opened to a part of his world he never knew existed. He had heard of the shape shifters although he had never seen one. The trade routes between the Golden Savannah and the Northern Plains converged in Treblehorn. Most of the merchants and travelers told fantastic tales of the shifters and the evil they wrought throughout Grandilar, warping the land and drawing deadly storms in their wake. Some claimed that the government and its petty representatives controlled the shifters and used them to frighten and intimidate the populace. A scant few, however, told an even more unbelievable tale. They claimed that necromancers, evil wizards, were responsible for the bulk of the bad things they'd heard about and that they were hunting shifters to extinction.
So many stories. Even in a village as small as Treblehorn opinions varied, but most tended to believe that shifters were evil. Meko's father, Tan El', was one of the most vocal in support of this belief whenever the subject would surface. Naturally, Meko listened to his father and trusted that he knew best. Grandfather had always been silent on the subject and just shook his head at its mention.
But Grandfather was silent no more. He spoke of the great dragon cultures, Pylos wizards, necromancers, dragon storms, magic, Elethay, and Valarians. He spoke of grand adventures and terrible battles, wondrous beings and nightmarish spawn. It was enthralling and frightening at the same time. All that Meko thought he knew and understood about shifters and the world outside his village came crashing down about him like snow in an avalanche. The weight of it was difficult to bear, but he knew in his heart that it was true.
"I know you've lived many years Grandfather, but how is it you know these things you say to be true? You've never been outside our village other than on nature walks and most of them were with me?"
A distressed look began to wash across Grandfather's face. He turned and walked away a few paces. He clearly was uncomfortable with the question. Still with his back to Meko, he said "There is still much you do not know, much you are not ready to hear or see."
For the first time since the beginning of his training, Meko sensed Grandfather closing himself off. He had been so honest and forthcoming about everything. What was he holding back? What else could there be that would make him change so quickly?
Meko longed for an answer but had no desire to cause his mentor any more pain. "Grandfather, I'm sorry," he pleaded. "I did not mean to pry. If you don't want to talk about it, I'll understand."
"It's all right, Meko. You did not injure me. I have hidden away certain memories from myself for so long that I had forgotten how painful they were." He paused while he regained his composure and again returned to his seat beside Meko. "I always knew this day would come but I had hoped to wait until your training was complete. It appears that will no longer be possible. But, we must first attend to more pressing matters."
"More pressing matters? What could be more pressing that this?" Meko's confusion, frustration, and impatience were all ganging up on him. "Oh, come now, Meko. Concentrate. Deep within you lies the answer." Grandfather's face now sported a broad smile.
Is he laughing at me? Meko was quickly losing the battle with his emotions. He was even beginning to feel physical discomfort. A gnawing pain was growing steadily in the pit of his gut. The more he looked at his grandfather, the worse it got. And the more pain Meko looked to be in, the broader the smile became on Grandfather's face.
What was so funny? Meko thought. Ough! The pain was intensifying. Meko could not understand it. "The pain, Grandfather, what is it?"
Grandfather struggled to hold in his laughter. "Meko, do you not even realize when you are hungry? Truly my training has been inadequate if you don't even respect your own body enough to feed it."
Meko laughed and his grandfather joined him, nearly falling over at one point. They embraced each other and enjoyed the release of emotion. Meko hadn't realized until now how long it had been since he had eaten. "Okay, Grandfather. I'll make dinner and then we'll talk. More pressing matters, indeed!" Meko reached for the shoulder sack that held the provisions his mother had packed for their extended nature walk.
"Don't bother, Meko. I will prepare our meal this evening," Grandfather insisted.
Now it was Meko's turn to laugh. He had never seen his grandfather prepare any food, much less a meal.
"Take care, my son. I was cooking for myself long before you were ever born. I have not forgotten how. Besides, we may be having company to sup with us." That peeked Meko's interest. "Who, Grandfather?"
"You'll just have to wait and see. You go ahead and gather firewood and build the fire. I'll take care of everything else. Perhaps you should lie down and rest until the meal is ready."
Meko had heard that tone before, gentle but assertive. That was not a request from a family member; it was an instruction from teacher to pupil. Dutifully, Meko made the fire and laid down for a short nap.
Something smelled wonderful as Meko awoke from his rest. He felt much better but the aroma of the food and the gnawing in his stomach were beginning to go to war. He looked over at the fire and saw Grandfather putting food on plates from a stew pot over the fire. He hustled to his feet and made his way to the fire. He was so hungry that he dispensed with all pleasantries, grabbed the plate that Grandfather had prepared for him, and dove in. The first bite was in his mouth before he even wondered what it was he was eating. But, as he began to chew and swallow it, he gagged and spat it out. The taste was vile; not because of its taste but because of what was in it.
"Ugh! Rabbit stew, Grandfather? How could you do this to me?" Meko was as furious as he was repulsed. His grandfather knew full well that he had sworn off the eating of meat when he began his training. He could not bring himself to eat animal flesh. He considered them more as friends now. He would not be a cannibal!
"Calm down, my son. I'm sorry I did this to you, but I had to. You have neglected yourself for too long and without reason. It is time you put away your childish superstitions."
Meko could not decide which was making him angrier at this point; the fact that he had been forced to taste meat or his Grandfather belittling his personal beliefs. It really didn't matter because Grandfather was the source of both. "Haven't you ever wondered why I still eat meat, Meko? You've never asked in the two years since you swore it off. Why have you never questioned my choice to do so?"
Meko considered it for a moment. "Who am I to question your personal beliefs? Besides, if you've taught me anything, Grandfather, it is that our beliefs are what define us and give us purpose. I had never thought to question yours and that is what troubles me most right now. Why do you do it to me?"
"I am glad to hear that you have retained so much of your training. But, that is only half of the lesson. You seem to have forgotten the most important part. A belief is only healthy if it is grounded in the truth."
Now what did he mean by that, Meko pondered. How could his belief be untruthful? It made no sense to him.
"Meko, you once ate meat didn't you? How do justify studying to be a Spirit Guide having been a cannibal for so many years?" Grandfather was twisting Meko's own protestation against him.
"You are just trying to confuse the issue, Grandfather," Meko defended. "You know how difficult it was for me at first."
"Yes, I do and I also remember telling you at the time that there was no need for this drastic course. You refused to listen to me then. Perhaps you will listen to me, now that you are older. Do you think Elethay is displeased with you for eating her animals?"
"Well . . . no . . . I guess not, but that's not what we're talking about." "Isn't it, Meko? What if I could prove to you that there is no shame in eating meat? Would you then reconsider your decision?"
"Grandfather, I know you are wise but how could you possibly prove such a thing?"
"I'll let you hear it from the horse's mouth, so to speak. I believe it is time for our dinner guest to make an appearance." Grandfather reached inside his backpack and produced his ceremonial prayer blanket. Unfolding it with great care and reverence, he placed it on the ground facing the fire and knelt upon it. Bowing his head and reaching his arms outstretched to the sky, he intoned "Oh, Elethay, mother of all that we see, grant me favor with your children that I may protect, nurture, and bring healing to the earth."
For a moment there was only silence and a breathless calm descended upon the camp. An all too familiar humming arose next. Meko recognized it immediately. Could this be an actual bonding in progress? Grandfather had as yet not revealed the actual ritual. Meko's level of concentration immediately jumped.
Not only could Meko hear the humming, he could feel it as well. The rhythmic pulsing of it was musical and soothing. Amidst the music there was also another sound emerging. He couldn't quite distinguish it. Was it a wheezing? Laughter? No. It was a whinnying. Meko followed the sound and separated it in his mind so that it was the focus of his attention. As he aurally tracked it, his eyes landed on the fire. It was coming from the fire!
Just as his vision clarified, the smoke from the fire began to take a form. The wisps collected and merged growing large and more coherent as they did. As the flames fueled the massing form, it became more and more substantial. It was beginning to look equine. Did Grandfather say ïStraight from the horse's mouth?' Suddenly and without warning the form leapt from the fire and landed to Grandfather's right. It was a horse! "Meko." Grandfather's voice entered Meko's mind. "Do you not recognize the spirit beside me?"
Meko strained to make concrete sense of the spirit form before him. There were familiar aspects but he could not envision its solid state. "No, Grandfather," Meko thought, "I cannot. Why would I be familiar with this spirit?"
"I am disappointed, Meko. Nightshade was really looking forward to seeing you again."
Nightshade? Meko's mind raced. Suddenly, he found himself back home inside the barn cleaning out the stalls. He could hear his father's voice. "Meko, come quickly. Bright is about to foal!" Meko rushed to his father's side just as the foal was birthed. It was as black as the moonless night sky and more handsome than any horse he'd seen before.
"Meko, I have decided that this horse will be the first of your charges. He is in your complete care. If you keep him well, I will consider giving you other animals to raise and train. But, first, you must name him. Well? What shall it be?"
Meko stood there motionless for what seemed an eternity, staring at the foal as it struggled to get to its feet. He could not take his eyes off of the new born. It was the most pure black he'd ever seen; but something about it was truly unusual. Within the blackness he could also see a hint of another color, dark and mysterious. The more he stared, the more it became clear that the other color was a deep violet. He'd seen this combination of black and violet before, but he couldn't place it. He knew he'd seen it in the forest. Then it came to him. "I have decided father." Proudly, he announced "Nightshade!"
With the name ringing in his mind, his thoughts returned to the present. There beside his Grandfather stood the spirit of his horse, Nightshade. Tears welled up in his eyes at the joyous sight, but the moment was bittersweet. It also brought back to him how much he missed his boyhood friend. It had been five years since Nightshade died. Meko was unprepared for the rekindling of these emotions.
"Nightshade, is it really you?" Meko's voice quivered as he spoke aloud. The knowing whinny and nodding head were the only answer he needed.
"Now, Meko, you must concentrate. To communicate with the spirit you will have to use your mind. Horses do not understand our speech just as we do not understand theirs. You must think what you want to say and listen with your mind's ear for an answer. The link I have created can only be extended to you as long as we work together to maintain it. Do not waiver or falter. I will not be able to recreate this link. It is only temporary."
Meko would not let this chance pass. Reluctantly he closed his eyes and relaxed, breathing deeply and slowly. He let go of his emotions and allowed himself to sink deeper into the link to strengthen it.
"Very good, Meko," Grandfather reassured him. "Your patience serves you well. We must make this brief. Do not allow yourself to stray from the importance of this meeting."
Meko knew what he meant. If anyone was guilty of getting off of the topic in a discussion, it was Meko. "I will not disappoint you, Grandfather," he thought. "Welcome, Nightshade. We are honored at your presence here."
"It is good to see you and Grandfather, and you especially Meko," said Nightshade in a very gravely sort of tone.
"So that's what a horse sounds like," thought Meko.
"What did you expect?" Grandfather chimed in. "Remember, Meko, focus! I have asked Nightshade here tonight to help you understand the nature of things. It is possibly the most important of the lessons you will learn." Grandfather paused. "Do you remember how Nightshade died, Meko?"
It was a painful memory but Meko did not let it distract him. He could see it in his mind as clearly as if it were yesterday. He was riding Nightshade in the forest and was having such a good time that he forgot how far he was getting from the safety of his village. His father had warned him on many occasions about the dangers of the deep forest but it was too far from his present state of bliss to register.
Out of nowhere a cougar lunged through the brush and made his attack. Fortunately his timing was off just enough that he only landed his blow to Nightshade's left hindquarter. Nightshade lurched forward awkwardly. Meko was so distracted by the shock that he was thrown from the horse's bare back and tumbled off into the bushes.
He was hurt but forced himself to his feet to make his escape. His eyes darted wildly back and forth searching for Nightshade or the cougar. He found them at the same time. They were locked in a death struggle and Nightshade was losing. Meko wanted to grab something and join the fight to rescue his friend but something inside him said, "Run!" He dismissed it and grabbed for the nearest weapon he could find but again from within it came. "I said Run!!!" Before he knew it, he was running; not toward the fight, but away from it. Once he started, he couldn't stop.
He ran as far and as fast as he could. Complete exhaustion finally felled him. Only then did he have time to consider what had happened. How could he have left Nightshade? Where was his bravery? A sickening feeling enveloped him as he sobbed heavily over his cowardice and his lost friend.
He made it safely back to the village even though he was hurt more seriously than he thought. He was ashamed when he told his family what had happened even though they assured him he did the right thing. He never forgave himself. As the memory eased from him, he could not look at Nightshade's spirit. His head hung low and he began to weep.
"Do not blame yourself, Meko," Nightshade thought. "You did not abandon me. You did exactly as I told you and I am grateful."
"What? What are you saying? It was my fault. I ran and you died because I did not help you."
"You ran because I told you to and something within you listened." Meko looked up as Nightshade nodded his head and seemed to smile. "You did not lose your balance and fall from my back; I threw you to safety on purpose!" Again, Meko was confused.
"I knew the cougar had us. I could not outrun him with my injury so I made the choice to stay and defend you so that you could get away. You did not kill me. I gave my life for you."
Meko didn't want to believe what he heard but he could feel Nightshade's compassion even through his thoughts. He could see and feel the truth of it. Meko slumped to the ground weeping openly.
"I must go now, Meko, but you must promise me that you will blame yourself no longer. If you honor my memory, you will do this for me." Just as these thoughts were received, the link was broken and the spirit once again became just so much smoke and drifted aimlessly toward the moonless night sky.
"No! Don't go!" Meko cried, but it was too late. Almost immediately Grandfather was at Meko's side, his arms wrapped securely around his grandson. "It is all right, Meko. Let it go. Let it all go." Grandfather rocked him reassuringly as Meko's heart emptied through his tears.
"Good, you are awake," said Grandfather as Meko stirred from his bedroll, not knowing how he had gotten there. "Perhaps now I can answer the many questions that still exist for you."
Meko rubbed his eyes and stretched. How much time had passed? He didn't know. It was still night and the fire was blazing.
"Please forgive me for putting you through all that, Meko. You have too long carried that burden and it has poisoned you. If you reach past it, you will be able to finish your long journey to become a Spirit Guide."
Meko sat up and smiled. It was a good sign. Grandfather was right. A terrible weight had been lifted from Meko's heart and he could see more clearly now than he ever had.
"I thank you for bringing Nightshade to me, Grandfather. I will carry the memory of my friend with me for as long as I live and I swear that it will haunt me no more. It is the least I can do to honor him."
Grandfather was astonished at Meko's words and he smiled at the young man his grandson was becoming. He was ready. "Perhaps now you will give some thought to your aversion to meat."
Meko laughed. "No need, Grandfather. Your teaching has forced me to become familiar with your ways and symbols. I know that you did not bring Nightshade to me only to end my suffering. You always use everything as a lesson. Let me see if I understood what you were trying to teach me."
Meko thought carefully for a moment then stood authoritatively. "Elethay's plan is for all living things to exist in harmony, each giving of itself as is needed, regardless of personal risk. The proof is in Nightshade's sacrifice for me."
"Yes, yes, my son. Go on."
"All living things know this and therefore understand that each of us has a purpose, even though some may be unpleasant. To honor Elethay is to seek balance and continue the harmony."
"But what has this to do with your not eating meat?" Grandfather listened intently for Meko's answer.
"Even as Nightshade gave up his life for me, so too, do the animals in the fields to nourish and sustain all of us. They maintain the balance that Elethay requires to ensure harmony. It is the natural course of things and we should not fight it. Is that it, Grandfather?" Meko looked to his teacher for some sign of approval.
Grandfather stroked his long gray beard while he pondered over Meko's statements. After what seemed an eternity to Meko, Grandfather finally spoke. "Yes, Meko, you have found the truth in it. Perhaps I'm a better teacher than I thought."
Meko's broad grin belied the knots in his stomach. He had been nervous about Grandfather's answer but there was something more. Then, he remembered. He was still quite hungry. "Is there anything to eat?"
"Well, there are the fruits and vegetables that you have in your sack. You could fix some of those or eat them raw."
"No thanks, Grandfather. If you will allow me, I'd really like to have some of your stew."
"Are you sure, Meko?" Grandfather asked with some reservation. Meko walked over and put his arm around his grandfather's shoulders. "It is all right, Grandfather. Let it go. I have."
The two of them looked knowingly into one another's eyes. They sat down together and shared the stew and had a conversation that was different that all of the others. This time they spoke not as grandfather and grandson, nor as teacher and student, but as kindred souls sharing a special purpose. Grandfather had not forgotten the secrets about himself he promised to share with Meko; but they would wait for another day.
The Conduit,
Part III By Tim Kennard
Time no longer had meaning for Meko. The days passed as hours; the weeks as days. He was consumed by his training and its completion was nearing rapidly. The only task left to him was to create a link with one of the Great Spirits like Braun or Bubo.
"You have come far and learned much, Meko," said Grandfather, his pride gleaming like a brilliant medal on a soldier's chest. "You have bonded with minor spirits and learned to call them, you can track better than I ever could, and you have grown both physically and spiritually. Next week we will begin the final phase of your training. But first we must tend to a more mundane ritual, albeit a very important one. Preparations must be made for your Coming of Age Celebration." Meko winced a bit at the idea of celebrating his birthday. He had never liked the fuss at being made over by all of his family and friends. But, this was different. The Coming of Age Ceremony was a clear signal that he couldn't be treated like a child anymore. He could stand proudly in front of the whole village and proclaim his name of manhood. No longer would he be known as just plain Meko; his name would be followed by the words that would define his place in life and society. He would be known as Meko . . . . . . well, he hadn't quite figured out what it would be. But he still had a week to decide.
Meko had changed, it's true. He stood as tall as his father now, strong, stocky, and bore a striking resemblance to his dear mother, Honoria. He walked differently and showed much more maturity than others of his age. The last three years studying with his grandfather had been the most difficult of his life, but they had been good years none the less. He felt a kinship with his grandfather that transcended their familial relationship.
"We must get back to Treblehorn soon. You know how your mother worries," Grandfather said as he began to break camp. Meko nodded and set about packing. It had been nearly two months since he was last at home. It was increasingly difficult to pass his training off as •taking a nature walk' with Grandfather. His mother was there in the doorway waiting to greet him. "Oh, Meko, it's so good to have you home," she said as she hugged him tightly. She took him by the arm and ushered him inside. "You must promise me that you won't leave again too soon. And try not to be gone so long next time."
"All right, mother. I promise," Meko said as he kissed her on the cheek. "Now, go and clean up before lunch. We have to discuss the arrangements for the celebration and I don't want to hear a single grunt or groan!" She winked at him as she said it, knowing that he had already groaned to himself at the mention of it. "Where is your grandfather? I have words for him as well."
"He left me at the edge of the village. He said he had a special errand to attend to. I'm sure he won't be long." Meko was holding something back. Grandfather had insisted they have a talk today about something that was long overdue. He wouldn't elaborate but he made Meko promise not to say anything about it to anyone.
"Well, he'd better hurry up or we'll start without him!"
Meko knew she was serious but he detected a note of playfulness in her voice as well. He turned and went to his room to freshen up.
An hour later the family was sitting around the kitchen table about to commence the meal; all except Grandfather, that is. He had not arrived and concern was beginning to show on Honoria's face. It was not like her father to be late, especially for a meal.
"He'll be here soon," said Tan El'. "He's probably trading stories with the elders of the village. You know how long-winded he can be at times." As the words left his mouth, he could feel two sets of eyes boring a searing hole into his head. He sheepishly regarded each set in turn, knowing full well that he had crossed the line. "Well, you know what I mean," he apologetically pleaded as he retreated to the safety of his meal and said nothing else.
Meko and Honoria were not appeased but they exchanged a commiserative look and let it go. They began to eat as well, turning the conversation toward lighter fare and Meko's impending party.
They had barely gotten a few bites in their mouths when it began. At first it was nothing more than few raised voices; someone running past the door; but, then the screaming began.
"What is that?" Tan El' insisted indignantly as he rose from the table, strode to the door, and flung it open to investigate. No sooner had the door opened than Tan El' was met by his neighbor, running onto the porch.
"Tan El', come quickly! The village is under attack by marauding vermites!" Tan El' reached inside the door and grabbed his axe. "Meko, protect your mother and this house!" he shouted as he ran to defend the village.
"Father!" Meko called to him but he was already out the door. Meko desperately wanted to help. His spirit training would surely be of some use and he was no slouch with a sword either; Tan El' had seen to that, but he couldn't leave his mother alone.
"Meko, what about your grandfather; where is he?" Honoria cried with a panic-stricken look on her face. "You must go find him and bring him home. He cannot defend himself."
"But, mother, what about you? I can't leave you here. Father would never forgive me if anything happened to you; and I couldn't live with myself."
"Do as I say, Meko! I can take care of myself. You're not the only member of this family that can make things happen." She winked at him and stared deeply into his eyes. Her expression was so reassuring Meko couldn't help but believe her.
"I'll be back just as soon as I can," Meko promised as he turned and ran out the door to search for Grandfather. A strange sensation washed over Meko. Out of the corner of his eye he thought sure he could see his mother's hands beginning to glow as he left.
Within the village there was much confusion, small skirmishes being fought all over the place but mostly concentrated at the access points in the village palisades. He couldn't see his grandfather anywhere. How would he find him? He could sure use some help.
He began searching in and around the nearest buildings hoping to find him in one of them. Having no success in the first few, his eyes fell on the barn. He rushed over to it and burst inside. A quick search revealed nothing but poking around the barn inspired a memory.
Meko quickly took out his prayer blanket, knelt on it, raised his arms to the sky, and began the ritual. "Oh, Elethay, mother of all that we see, grant me favor with your children that I may protect, nurture, and bring healing to the earth." Meko concentrated very hard and began the hum-chant that could summon a minor spirit. This must work he thought as he prayed and chanted. "Nightshade, come forth I beg you. You must help me find Grandfather!" Meko pleaded as tears began to well in his eyes.
Meko waited but nothing was happening. He began to panic. He knew he couldn't wait much longer. His mind started to race, darting rapidly between images of his father fighting, his mother being attacked, and his grandfather injured. "No!" screamed Meko. "I cannot allow myself to be distracted. I must focus!" As he wrestled with himself for control for his emotions, something began to happen. Other images began to bombard his mind's eye, but these were not of his family in trouble. They were images of Nightshade! Meko's heart leapt in his chest as he tried to fine tune what he was seeing. Something was different though. This was not the same kind of link Grandfather had made with Nightshade. There was no sound and he was only seeing images from his past; at least he thought they were from his past.
Meko could see Nightshade galloping through the forest, jogging back and forth to avoid low tree branches. He thought he recognized the area. It was near his favorite lake; he was sure of it. Just then Nightshade began to slow down and soon he was cantering into the clearing near Meko's lake. Nightshade stopped and scraped at the ground with his hoof. Then he raised his head and looked straight at Meko. He could swear Nightshade was trying to tell him something. Meko wasn't sure of message but it was certain to him that he must get to the lake. Perhaps Grandfather was there.
Breaking his concentration and ending the ritual, Meko quickly grabbed up his blanket and headed out the back of the barn in a dead run for the forest. He glanced back over his shoulder toward the village and was at least a bit relieved to see his father and mother embracing outside their house. Perhaps the attack was over. Meko prayed it was so.
It was between fifteen and twenty minutes before Meko neared the clearing at the lake. It had seemed much longer and he was becoming very fatigued from the pace. Meko's only wish was to see his grandfather there and safe. As he broke through the last thicket into the clearing, his heart sank. Only half of his wish was true. Grandfather was there, wielding his cudgel wildly, but he was being overpowered by two vermites.
"Get away from him you vile vermin!" Meko bellowed as he drew his sword and charged wildly into the fray. He gave no thought to his own safety. Saving his grandfather was paramount, no matter what the cost.
Having alerted them to his presence, Meko lost the element of surprise. One of the vermites broke off his attack on Grandfather to deal with the charging boy. He squared and set his spear defensively in the ground, pulling a shield to his chest to brace for the impact.
Meko saw his adversary's preparations and instinctively knew he should dive and roll to the shield side to avoid the spear, coming to his feet just in time to slash the enemy in the back of the leg, thereby disabling him from further movement. Father's training had been very thorough. Unfortunately, instinct and training were being overridden by pure unadulterated hatred, so Meko slammed sword first into the defenses of the vermite.
A sharp pain wracked his right side as the spear found its mark just below his rib cage. Simultaneously Meko's sword lunge found the chest of the vermite as the shield was dislodged by the force of the impact. They tumbled together each impaled on the others weapon and crashed to the ground. Meko's head struck the wayward shield and everything went black.
Pain. It was the great clarifier, stripping away the facade and baring the senses. So strong is it at times that even the subconscious cannot escape its sting. He should have dived and rolled. He should have dived and rolled. Over and over he heard it repeat; and then more pain.
"Meko? Wake up."
He knew he heard it.
"Meko! Wake up!"
Now he was sure of it. More surprising was the fact that something else was missing; the pain was ebbing. He was sore to be sure, but the majority of the pain was gone, as quickly as it came. Relief did not begin to describe what he felt.
"Meko, open your eyes!!" His mother's voice was unmistakable and it sounded like she meant business.
Meko thought it best to comply, if only he could find his eye lids. He knew they were there, somewhere; he was just having trouble making the connection. Ah, there they were. Open, he told them. They wouldn't listen. With every ounce of strength he could muster, Meko willed his stubborn eyelids to move; and they did.
As slits formed, Meko could see that it was dark, but there was a fuzzy white blur he just couldn't make out. Now half open, it was not so dark anymore and the fuzzy blur became a fuzzy blob.
"That's it, Meko." The fuzzy blob spoke. In another moment his dear mother's face was clear.
Dryly, almost inaudibly, Meko tried to speak. "What . . . happened?"
"Not now, Meko. You are alive and getting stronger. Go back to sleep and when you wake again, we will talk."
Meko managed one more word. "Grandfather?"
Silence was the only answer to his query. Drip. Something wet hit his upper lip. Instinctively his tongue searched for it. It was salty and Meko slipped back into the darkness.
Bright sunlight shone through the window and warmed Meko's face. It felt good and Meko batted his eyes open under its embrace. At his first stirring, his mother was by his side stoking the hair from his forehead.
"Better now?" she asked.
"Yes, mother," he assured her.
Tan El' opened the door and peeked in. "Is he awake?" His gaze fell upon his son and the worried expression ran from his face. He stepped to the bedside and sat next to Meko, clasping his hands around his son's. "Meko, how do you feel?"
Meko's nerves did a quick check around his body and reported no pain. "I'm fine, father, really." Meko struggled to sit up as his parents helped to support his move. "I still feel some soreness in my ribs and my head seems a little fuzzy, but I'm all right."
Meko's mother kissed his forehead and thanked Elethay that she had brought him back to her.
"Where is Grandfather?" Meko asked.
They knew it was coming. They had tried to prepare for it these last six days, but when the time came, there were no words. Honoria clutched her hands to her face as she fought back the tears. Even the normally strong features of Tan El' were melting under the pressure, his eyes clouding, belying his heartbreak. They didn't have to say it. Meko knew the answer. "I understand, Father." Meko's tone was solemn, reverent, but not overwrought. Meko was surprised not to be more emotional. He loved Grandfather, didn't he? "Please father, tell me what happened," Meko requested with sincerity.
"Very well, son, if you're sure."
"I'm sure Father. I must know."
"The fight with the vermites was nearly over when I arrived at the gates. The militia had dealt most effectively with the vermin so I was only needed to reinforce them and deal with the stragglers. I returned home not fifteen minutes later to find your mother standing over the singed body of a vermite attacker. As I embraced her, I asked why you weren't there to protect her. She told me she'd sent you after your grandfather. I turned just in time to see you sprinting into the woods at the other end of the village."
"I did not know where you were going but your gait told me there was purpose in your actions, so I followed you to the lake. I arrived just at the moment you crashed into the shield and spear of the vermite warrior. Your grandfather fought bravely and struck what looked like a killing blow to his vermite opponent. As I ran toward the both of you, he dropped to his knees but signaled he was all right, just winded."
"I was at your side in a moment. Your sword was buried hilt deep in the other vermite's chest and he was certainly dead. As I reached for you, you passed out. I removed the spear from your side and bound the wound. I could hear your grandfather getting to his feet just as I finished. He asked how you were. As I turned to answer him, the other vermite stirred, made a dying lunge toward him, and buried a dagger deep in his stomach."
"I made sure the vermite was truly dead this time and did what I could to help your grandfather, but his wounds were too severe for me to treat." His voice weakened. "I'm sorry I could not save him Meko. I was not his son but he always treated me like I was." Tan El' broke down into open weeping. "Please forgive me, Meko."
Meko placed his hand on his father's head. "There is nothing to forgive. I love you father."
Father, mother, and son held each other tightly and grieved together. After a time, they let go and set about to compose themselves. They washed, changed, and sat at the kitchen table. They supped on cheese and wine and talked of Grandfather. They even managed a painful laugh or two as they honored his memory with the traditional tale telling. Even though hearts were surely breaking, their smiles beamed brightly as they related story after wonderful story about him.
"I'd like to say goodbye to him," said Meko after the tales were finished. "I know he would want me to."
"I'm sure he would," said his mother. "Go to him. He rests under a shade tree near the north bank of the lake." She rose from the table and went to the pantry. She emerged with a backpack. "Take this with you. It was his last request that you open this pack at his grave side."
"What's in it, mother?"
"I do not know, Meko. It is between you and him. Please respect his wishes." "I will." He took the backpack as he kissed her cheek. "I love you, mother," he whispered in her ear and then he was gone.
He took his time, walking slowly and pensively to the lake. He had much to consider. It still was not real to him. Grandfather was dead. Tomorrow was his day of ascension. Nothing made sense anymore.
He arrived at the lake just as the sun dipped behind the great mountain to the west. He scanned the north shore; he could see the marker under the tree just as mother had described it. The spot was familiar. Meko had rested there several times. You could not choose a more perfect resting place.
Meko knelt beside his grandfather's marker. He brushed away the leaves and twigs so that everything looked better. "Grandfather would want it that way," he thought. Kneeling there, he tried to think of the right words; the words that needed to be said at this time, but nothing would come. He still had not gotten over the shock even though his demeanor didn't show it.
After several silent minutes, Meko moved over and rested against the tree. Leaning back, he looked up through the branches at the sky. The rich hues of red, orange, gold and purple painted a masterpiece on the horizon. He had shared many a similar sunset with his grandfather and he was moved to tears. He tried to fight them back but the harder he tried, the worse it got. In a couple of minutes he was sobbing aloud uncontrollably.
"Why? Why?" It impacted in his mind over and over again. He clenched his fists and pounded the ground. The pain and sorrow welling up inside was driving the pace faster and faster. Flailing about wildly, he began screaming, kicking, and crying in a deafening crescendo to a final, body-quaking yell. "G-r-a-n-d-f-a-t-h-e-r!!"
And then there was silence. Totally spent, he slumped forward and buried his face in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. Only the heaving of his chest and the occasional nearly inaudible whimper gave away the fact that he was still upset.
His brief outburst over, Meko finally set about to honor his grandfather's request. The backpack lay beside him waiting to be opened. As he reached for it, he hesitated, fearing the unknown of what was inside. He placed his hands on it and caressed it for a moment. He knew the feel of it all too well. He had carried it many times. But, this time it was his and he knew it wouldn't be the same.
Carefully, he opened the flap and reached inside, reverently removing each item and placing it on the ground next to him. First there was Grandfather's prayer blanket. Meko held it in his arms for several minutes, hugging and rubbing his face on it. He could still smell Grandfather's favorite pipe tobacco on it. Second, there was a gnarly, oaken cudgel, measuring twice the size of a regular cudgel, nearly the length of a staff. He remembered vividly how grandfather used it to get around. Third, there was a belt pouch containing ring, a small red gem, and a few gold coins. Last, there was a large leather-bound book, one he had seen his grandfather writing in and consulting from time to time. Meko opened it and a folded piece of paper slipped out and fell to the ground. He picked it up immediately and unfolded it to reveal handwriting, which Meko recognized as his Grandfather's.
"Meko," it read, "If you are reading this then I am dead and you are sitting under my favorite tree with my backpack, assuming your mother did as I asked of her. The contents of this pack are all I own. They are yours to use as you see fit."
Meko stopped and looked again through his new belongings. He didn't want them; he wanted his Grandfather back. Still, he knew that wasn't possible, so he continued to read the note.
"I know your training is incomplete, but do not despair. I have planned ahead for this possibility. Within my journal is all the knowledge you need to finish what you have started. It also contains other things; things I wanted to tell you long ago, but there never seemed to be the right moment. I'm sorry I was not able to tell you myself."
Meko had always known there were things that Grandfather had held back from him. He had assumed that he would be told as time permitted but there was always another lesson that held more importance. At least that's what Grandfather had used as an excuse.
"For most of my life, Meko, I used the powers Elethay bestowed upon me to guard and protect her children. It was not an easy life for there were many who would take from the earth with no regard for life or the future. There are also some who think there is no value in the ways of the spirit as we practice them. Should you choose to complete your training on your own, you must be careful who you trust. I would urge you to contact the Valarians. Their cause is just and there are many among them who worship Elethay as we do. Seek them out in Arecha but beware the necromancers. They care not for Elethay and would kill any who would protect her."
"I am sorry I could not finish what I started with you, Meko. It was not meant to be. Know that all things happen for a reason. If you can find purpose from my death, then Elethay's promise will be fulfilled. I love you, Meko, and will always be with you. And so, I say farewell, my son. May Elethay guide and protect you no matter what you choose to do." The note was signed with Grandfather's true name Dameko, Spirit Guardian.
Although Meko knew he was named after his grandfather, he had never known Grandfather's true name, the one he took at his ascension ceremony. Meko yearned to know more. He put aside the note, opened the journal, and began to read in earnest. He devoured its contents as a starving man would a feast. He read all day; and when darkness began to fall, he built a fire and read on well into the night until he fell asleep beside it.
Meko awoke to the warmth of the morning sun. The sky was a bright blue and blooming clouds were a striking white against it. What a wonderful sight to greet him on his sixteenth birthday. He packed up his things and made sure the fire was completely out. He knew he must get back to the village and prepare for the celebration. Although he didn't care for the hoopla, he knew it was important to his mother and father. He gave one last look at the grave, bowed reverently, and set his feet moving toward the village.
As he walked home, he considered all he had learned from Grandfather's journal. There were big decisions ahead and they needed to be made soon. One thing that puzzled him was a reference near the end of the journal to Meko's mother, Honoria. Grandfather had said that if he had more questions about the Valarians, he should speak to his mother privately.
Why did it need to be private? Meko understood the need for secrecy but it seemed there was something more there. Well, it would have to wait for later. The ascension must be completed first. There would be time after to deal with other questions.
The village was already humming with activity when Meko arrived. To most of the villagers, hustle and bustle were the order of the day; a day like any other. Tan El' was outside chopping firewood when Meko reached his house. "We were becoming a bit concerned for you, Meko. You'd better apologize to your mother. She's been pacing around all morning wondering when you'd return." A small chuckle escaped as he said it.
Meko opened the door to the kitchen and sheepishly poked his head in to look around. "It's about time, young man!" The sharpness of her tone made Meko wince until he turned to see her stern look falter into a smile. She ran to him and hugged him hard. As she released him and stepped back she looked him in the eye. "Is everything okay?" Her eyes searched his for some sense of his feelings. Meko took her hands into his. "Everything is fine, mother." He smiled warmly and nodded his head. "I'm sorry I'm late. I know how important today is to you." She looked reprovingly at him. "It is just as important to you, Meko, if I understand my own father." She looked to see that Tan El' was not near the door. "I know the decisions facing you are not easy ones, but I support them no matter what. Your grandfather gave of himself all of his life to protect nature and I'm sure all the time he spent with you had something to do with your future as well," she said as she winked at him.
Meko was a bit stunned. Did she really know as much as it seemed? "But, enough about that for now. You must go prepare. I am so proud of you!" She gave him another little hug and pushed him toward his room.
There certainly would be questions for later, but Meko knew he must be about the business of the day. He put down his things in his room and went outside to wash. He took his time, more lost in thought than concerned for his cleanliness. When he finished he returned to his room to dress. Another surprise awaited him there.
On his bed were laid out two sets of clothing and his grandfather's hooded cloak with a note resting atop it. "Choose wisely and well, for this choice will set you on a course not taken lightly. Ascension is an arrival at your adulthood as well as a commitment to the future." The note was in his mother's handwriting. He looked back to the clothing. On the left were the garments of an adult trader; those that would be respected by others in his line. On the right were the traveling garments of an adventurer, similar to those he had seen his grandfather wear on many occasions. "Exactly how much did his mother know?" he wondered.
Meko sat down and considered the two paths of his future. One would keep him here with his family; the other would take him into the unknown and uncertainty. One was safe; the other likely fraught with danger. Meko wondered how many others his age had such a difficult decision.
"Are you ready, Meko?" His mother's voice called out from the kitchen. "We are going ahead to the square. Hurry up!"
Meko sat for another moment or two; then he rose and dressed, putting on Grandfather's cloak over his clothes. He pulled the hood up over his head and made his way to the village square.
Everyone in the village turned out for a ceremony of this kind. The square was filled with tables full of food and confections. A platform graced the center with a place of honor for the ascendant and his family. Everyone took their places and began the feast that preceded the naming. There was singing, dancing, and laughter. All seemed to be enjoying themselves except Meko. Throughout it all the expression on his face was serious and solemn. The weight of the occasion bore heavily on him.
Finally, it was time. The village elder called to everyone. "Please, may I have your attention? We are all gathered here to witness the ascension to manhood of one of our own. In accordance with our traditions and laws, I call forth Meko of the family Drell. Show yourself and present us with your true name!" There were cheers and applause as Meko rose from his seat. He stepped to the end of the table and addressed the assemblage. "Today I am a man. I am humbled at your reception and honored by your presence. It is with great pride I take my place in society. In doing so, I honor the memory of my grandfather and take his name."
A hush fell across the crowd as he flung off his cloak to reveal his garments. He pulled on his backpack, raised his cudgel aloft and proclaimed, "I am Dameko, Spirit Warrior!"
The Conduit,
Part IV By Tim Kennard
What is in a name? After all, it's just a label. You can call a horse an eagle, but that doesn't change the fact that it can't fly. So, changing your own name makes no difference in you, unless your actions change accordingly.
Meko knew this. He had considered it for a long time. No real change occurs just by saying you are something else. But in his case, it was different. Not only had he taken a new name, but he had done so publicly. He had taken a name of destiny. He must fulfill it.
The somber mood at home reflected that of the village after the ceremony. Tan El' was visibly shaken by Meko's announcement. He had always expected Meko to follow him into the family trade business. Honoria was making a vain attempt at appearing happy despite her sadness at her only son's impending departure.
Meko looked to be the only person in the village not affected by his announcement. He very matter-of-factly set about packing his belongings for the long and arduous journey. He wasn't sure exactly what he'd need, so he packed for any eventuality; warm weather, cold, rain, or even snow. He knew from conversations with various traders that there was varied terrain ahead of him.
As he packed, he could hear his mother and father talking in the kitchen, although he couldn't make out what they were saying. The discussion became heated and voices grew louder; then, the kitchen door slammed and it was done. A few minutes later, Honoria peeked into Meko's room almost apologetically. "Your father is very upset," she said as she stepped into the room, hands wringing in front of her.
"I know I have disappointed him, but I didn't think he'd take it like this," Meko replied. "I guess I'd always hoped he'd be proud of me and support my decision, even though we'd never talked about it."
"Oh, it's not you, Meko; it's me he's angry with just now." She sat down on a chair near the door, staring out the window, trying hard to fight back tears. Confused, Meko asked, "I don't understand. Why is he angry with you?"
Her answer wasn't directed at Meko; rather she seemed to be talking to herself. "You think you know someone. You put your trust in them; you love them, care for them, and rely on their honesty. Then you find out they've kept things from you. I don't know why I hid it from him all these years. I guess I was trying to protect him."
"Mother, what are you saying?" Meko stopped packing and knelt by his mother's side.
"I have a secret past, one it would not do well to get out to the public. I've just revealed some of it to your father and now I must to you."
"There is no need mother. Grandfather's journal told me much about the two of you. I know you traveled and had many adventures in the years before you came to Treblehorn. He even told me you were something of a wizard at one time." Meko tried to reassure her.
"Yes, Meko, that is all true; but he did not tell you everything and it's time you knew it all. I have carried this burden for too long and I do not wish for you to suffer because of me."
"Please, mother," Meko interrupted, as he hugged her tightly. "You don't have to do this."
She kissed his forehead and pushed him away. "Yes, Meko, I must and you must hear it."
Meko knew better than to press the issue, so he eased off, sat down on the floor, and listened intently as his mother continued.
"You never knew your grandmother, Vulnavia. My mother was so beautiful. She used to sit and sing as she sewed. We were just small children then, my brother Juron and I. We spent many an evening with her by the fire. Your grandfather was always off on some quest or another, so we spent considerable stretches of our young lives without him."
"When he would finally come home, she'd be waiting in the doorway for him. Dameko Gedron, it's about time!' she would boom; then a smile would break across her face as she rushed to greet him. He would lift her in the air and they would embrace heartily. It was always good when father was home."
"We lived a very peaceful life in the village of Enlori, which lies at the border between Arecha and Murn. Father came and went as usual, never telling us exactly what he did while he was away. You know now as well as I that he was practicing the spirit crafts. He often spent considerable time at the Elethay Temple, consulting with the priestess there."
"Once, when I was twelve, he even took me along. It was then that I met Sunda Brill. She was an acolyte in the temple, the same age as me. We became fast friends and she spent many nights at our house. She taught me about Elethay and I showed her some of the magical secrets my mother had taught me. Your great grandfather, my mother's father, was a wizard, and a good one, too, by her account. He had taught her ways to protect herself with certain spells when she was young."
"Sunda spent so much time with us that I guess it was inevitable Juron would take notice of her. Actually, she had a secret crush on him as well, but was too shy to say anything, except to me, of course."
"Anyway, the three of us spent time nearly every day together over the next two years. Mother kept up my training in the wizardly arts, Sunda continued to worship and train in the temple, and Juron worked very hard at studying Sunda when he wasn't training with the village militia."
"One cool fall evening when Sunda's duties at the temple kept her from her usual visit with us, Juron came to me and confided that he was in love with her and wanted them to be joined. I wasn't surprised but I pretended to be. He said that they'd discussed it but she had reservations because of her service to the temple. She did not feel it appropriate to consider a joining at this time. He was convinced that her trepidation was because he hadn't actually asked for her hand yet. Tomorrow would be a good day, I think,' he added as he turned to leave; then he just chuckled to himself, smiled, and walked out the door. I wondered what she would do when he asked her. I couldn't sleep that night, anticipating the next day's events. Little did I know, at that time, how life affecting those events would be."
"Other than not getting any sleep, the day started as any other with father off somewhere. We washed, changed, ate, and got to work. Only Juron's impending proposal held any suspense. But, things quickly changed. By mid-morning the skies were beginning to cloud over and darkly at that. Storms were not uncommon; without them there would be no rain for the fields. This was no ordinary storm though. The clouds grew darker by the moment, twisting into strange shapes, and moving very quickly toward the village. Strange flashes of orange and green light coursed through the air and the putrid smell of death hung all around." "The village alarm sounded and the warden yelled from his wall tower, 'Dragonstorm! Dragonstorm!!' There had been dragonstorms before but none had ever threatened the village. This one was more than a threat; it was right on top of us. I heard mother yelling for Juron and me. As I started for the house, I looked around for Juron. What I saw stopped me dead in my tracks."
"The black swirling clouds dove at the village as if a cat pouncing on a field mouse. But as the clouds bit at the village rooftops, they spat out horrible flying creatures; terrible warped madspawn. Almost as one, the villagers panicked and ran for any cover they could find. I could see the militia spring to action though it looked hopeless at best."
"It was black as night as the storm enveloped us. The village gates burst open and a band of wakana berserkers charged the scattered mess. I was so scared I couldn't move."
"I don't know why I panicked but no matter what I tried, I couldn't move at all, even when a berserker spotted me and charged. He lunged at me, claws and fangs bared. I remember thinking I would surely die, but something inside me said 'Lightning!' My hands sprung forth and flung a lightning bolt in the chest of my attacker. He let out a death yell as he crashed into me, knocking me to the ground stunned."
"I struggled to get up but my legs were like boiled noodles. Just then helping hands intervened; two sets of them actually. Mother and Juron had found me at the same time and were dragging me to my feet. I was never so glad to see anyone. But just as they got me up, a sharp pain shot through my body, pricking every nerve to attention and doubling me over. My vision blurred and I felt so dizzy I thought I'd vomit up my insides."
"But strangely, in the same instant, I also felt somehow powerful. My mind raced through the images I'd seen of the attacking spawn. I saw through eyes not my own the destruction of the village and its attackers, along with many of my friends. Rage. Burning rage consumed me and the village, burning on and on into the blackness. The pain was unbearable. I was lost in a swirling miasma of rage, pain, and sorrow in my mind. And then, as suddenly as it began, I had neither sight nor sound of anything."
Honoria collapsed from her chair, sobbing heavily and uncontrollably. Meko caught her in his arms and cradled her to the floor, doing his best to comfort her. "Shhh, mother. Shhh. It's all right. I'm here." He held her tightly and prayed to Elethay that her mind would be calmed. He could sense the extreme anguish in her heart as he prayed for her. His empathy allowed images to form from her tortured mind. For a moment, her sorrow was his. He couldn't believe how deeply she hurt. Then he saw it; an image of a huge red dragon breathing fire down upon her, searing her to the soul.
Startled, Meko pushed back from her. As he did, she turned her head, looking through tear-filled eyes, and stared him in the face. "Now you know, don't you? You could see it in my mind, couldn't you?" She pleaded for agreement from him. Meko stood slowly and turned from her, not wanting to believe it. He tried to make sense of it, but this was beyond his comprehension. "No, mother, it can't be," he said as he turned back to her, his hand rubbing his forehead.
Honoria picked herself up from the floor and stood weakly, drained by the effort. "Your grandfather found me unconscious nearly a mile from the village. I was bloody, beaten, and bruised but he nursed me back to health. He kept us moving around, said we couldn't return to the village. I had not the will to argue with him. I could remember it all and it sickened me."
"Father tried to explain what happened. He begged me not to blame myself but I could not bear the thought of what I'd done. The dragon in me had not only killed the spawn that attacked us; it killed my mother and brother and burned down half the village. No matter what he said, I wouldn't listen. I couldn't. There was no excuse that I could live with."
"He said we needed somewhere safe to hide. Because of what I was, there would be many who would hunt me. He explained about the necromancers and suggested we seek out Valarians to help us. In time I was able to bury the past deep within me along with the dragon. I have never allowed that vile creature to surface since."
"The Valarians took me in and tried to help me see that I wasn't evil. Your grandfather and I even worked with them for a few years. I used my wizard skills and learned much from them, but I never really felt a true part of what they were doing."
"One night I overheard a conversation between Father and one of Valarian mentors. They were talking about one of the necromancers, Haddoc Nor. They said he'd been hunting dragon shifters and that he was coming this way. When I saw Father later, I confronted him about what I'd heard. I told him I had to leave. If I could get far enough away, I might be able to be at peace with myself and not endanger anyone else."
"We left the next day for the north. We traveled a long time and finally ended up here. We settled in and I met your father. He never knew any of this until today. I don't expect you to forgive me. I still haven't forgiven myself. Last week's attack, father's death, and yours nearly; it was all too much to keep in any longer. I'll understand if you choose not to acknowledge me further." She slumped back down into the chair, hanging her head low.
Meko stood for a moment, considering carefully what he would say next. He could not judge her. Besides, she'd done enough of that herself. "Mother, I do have something to say to you. You need to listen to me now."
She recognized his insistence; his stubbornness reminded her of her own words earlier. She wiped the tears from her face and regarded him plainly, bracing for his words as if they would hurt.
"Yes, I saw the dragon in you. It was fierce and startled me at first. But it was not evil." She opened her mouth to protest; but before the words could form, Meko put his finger to her lips. "Please, let me finish."
"The dragon in you is not evil because you are not evil. You are my mother. You have raised me these sixteen years and I've never known you to be anything other than good and kind and as loving a parent as any child could want." She softened somewhat at his insistent words.
"Do you think I'm evil, mother?"
She was taken aback at this. "Why, of course not, Meko. How could you ask such a thing?"
"Can evil beget goodness? No, it would not know how. If I am not evil and you begat me, then you cannot be evil in any way!" As these words left his mouth it was as if his grandfather was speaking them. It sounded very much like one of his lessons.
"Grandfather taught me much of the shifters and how the change comes on them in the beginning. He told me of many times where the shifter had no control of itself until it realized what had happened. You are not to blame. Stop torturing yourself!"
She knew he was right. She had always known what he was saying to be true but she could never bring herself to accept it. "I know, Meko. But I swore many years before you were born that the dragon would never surface again. I do not accept its existence."
"You may not, but I do. As long as I live, I will love you. Your past is just that . . . past. I only grieve for your sorrow and I pray you find peace one day." Meko reached out and hugged her to his chest tightly.
"I love you, too, Meko. Perhaps through you I will find a way to accept what I cannot change." She paused for a moment. "I did not tell you all of this to gain your forgiveness. I just wanted you to know that since my blood is in you, there is a possibility that you may be a shifter as well. I pray to Elethay that it is not so."
They hugged for several minutes not wanting to let go of each other. Meko gently pushed her away and turned to his things on the bed. He shouldered them and turned for the door.
"Meko!" she shouted to him as he neared the kitchen door. "If you wish to contact the Valarians, seek out assistance at the Elethay temple in Enlori. At last report, Sunda was still High Priestess there. Show her this. She will remember me and shelter you." Honoria reached inside the neck of her tunic and revealed a chain with a ring on it. She took it off and placed it in Meko's hand. "It belonged to my brother Juron."
She closed his fingers around the ring, kissed his hand, and turned away. Meko leaned to her and kissed the back of her head, reaching his arms around her for one last embrace. "I will be back," he whispered; then he turned and left, closing the door behind him.
Many pairs of skeptical eyes were watching him as he made his way out of the village. A few of his friends waved goodbye even though their parents didn't approve. After he cleared the south gate, he turned for one look back at the only home he'd known. With a deep breath and exhale, he pivoted and strode toward the tree line.
As he rounded the first bend out of sight of the village, he was greeted by the sight of his father sitting atop Harbinger, his trusty steed. He dismounted at Meko's approach.
"So, where will you go, Dameko?" He used the proper instead of the familiar. "Please, father. I must do this. I know you don't approve, but I owe it to mother and grandfather."
"Yes, Meko, I know. Destiny calls you and has caught up with me." He looked toward the village, fighting back the emotion.
"Mother needs you, now more than ever. I am only strong because you are; she needs your shoulder to lean on. Please go to her and forgive her. I fear she may be consumed by her past without you."
Tan El' marveled at the wisdom of one yet so young. "Your grandfather taught you well," he said as he stroked the horse's neck. "You have a long journey ahead. Harbinger says it will be easier if you take him along." He put the reigns in Meko's hand and turned toward the village.
Meko could only watch him walk away, not knowing what to say. As his father reached the bend, Meko reached out his hand, fingers outstretched, and called to him. "Father!"
Tan El' turned and seeing Meko's hand, outstretched his own as well. They exchanged a knowing look for a few seconds and lowered them. "That's my horse and I want him back," Father called to him as he smiled and disappeared around the trees.
Meko smiled, too, and turned to the open road ahead of him. Giving a pat to Harbinger's head, he began packing the horse with his belongings. He was leaving all he'd ever known behind. What awaited him, he didn't know; but it would certainly be an adventure.
The End.
The Conduit story is copyright Tim Kennard. The world of Grandilar is copyright Susan Van Camp.